Goin Home
In a couple of hours I am leaving to go back home to see my mom and dad. As you all know by now, Dad is in the hospital and not doing well. I have prayed many years for Dad's healing, that he would be well and that he would be able to see. I have watched in agony as my dad got slowly worse. I don't want to get into the theological debate right now about why this is happening. It isn't important right now.
We have spent many wonderful times with Mom and Dad when they would come to the island. One of the first places Dad always wanted to go was Cathedral Grove. He said he felt close to God there. He loved the falls as well especially in the winter when they were roaring down the gorge with such power you could feel the ground shake. He always wanted to go to the beach when it was storming to see the waves crashing. There is something very special in all of those things. You feel God and you see His wonder in the nature He created.
It's hard for me to think about the fact that I will never go to Cathedral Grove with my Dad again. I can't imagine my life without him. What is worse for me to imagine is the pain and the sorrow that my parents have shared these last years and especially these last few months. Susan has shared with me how one day he couldn't get up from the table and he wanted to go and lay down. He asked mom to just help him to the floor. Mom told him he couldn't just sleep on the floor and he told her he couldn't make it to the bed. She told him that Susan was there and they would help him to the couch. They eventually got him to the couch and mom struggled to lift his legs up even though he told her not to bother. When she finally managed to get him comfortable he put his face into his hands and he cried. Then she knelt there in front of the couch and put her face in his neck and she cried with him. There are many stories like that that just break my heart. The pain my mom has gone through as she has watched the husband she had loved all these years slowly fade away is unimaginable. The burden my Dad has felt he has been to her is so sad it breaks my heart.
Can I imagine our lives without him? No I can't. But this is not about me, this is about him. All his life he has lived for one thing and that is to see His Lord and Saviour face to face. And his eyesight will be completely restored there. He will leave his wheelchair, his cane and all of that behind him. He will walk and talk with Jesus. And this is what I imagine his face to look like when his eyes are opened and he sees Jesus face to face.
I Love You Dad.
We have spent many wonderful times with Mom and Dad when they would come to the island. One of the first places Dad always wanted to go was Cathedral Grove. He said he felt close to God there. He loved the falls as well especially in the winter when they were roaring down the gorge with such power you could feel the ground shake. He always wanted to go to the beach when it was storming to see the waves crashing. There is something very special in all of those things. You feel God and you see His wonder in the nature He created.
It's hard for me to think about the fact that I will never go to Cathedral Grove with my Dad again. I can't imagine my life without him. What is worse for me to imagine is the pain and the sorrow that my parents have shared these last years and especially these last few months. Susan has shared with me how one day he couldn't get up from the table and he wanted to go and lay down. He asked mom to just help him to the floor. Mom told him he couldn't just sleep on the floor and he told her he couldn't make it to the bed. She told him that Susan was there and they would help him to the couch. They eventually got him to the couch and mom struggled to lift his legs up even though he told her not to bother. When she finally managed to get him comfortable he put his face into his hands and he cried. Then she knelt there in front of the couch and put her face in his neck and she cried with him. There are many stories like that that just break my heart. The pain my mom has gone through as she has watched the husband she had loved all these years slowly fade away is unimaginable. The burden my Dad has felt he has been to her is so sad it breaks my heart.
Can I imagine our lives without him? No I can't. But this is not about me, this is about him. All his life he has lived for one thing and that is to see His Lord and Saviour face to face. And his eyesight will be completely restored there. He will leave his wheelchair, his cane and all of that behind him. He will walk and talk with Jesus. And this is what I imagine his face to look like when his eyes are opened and he sees Jesus face to face.
I Love You Dad.
16 Comments:
i'm at work sitting at my desk crying. i'm sure everyone thinks i'm a psycho. but that was beautiful. i'm glad you're coming home, but not happy at why you're coming home... see you soon.
I cried too, luckily I read your blog at home. It was really nice :) I love you Mom :)
Yesterday I was driving and trying not to cry before I got to work and I just had this picture of Jesus waiting in Heaven for Grandpa. The facial expression was very similar. I felt like he told me that I complain sometimes about how hard it is to believe in God when I can't see. If I could just sit down with Jesus and chat, if he could just physically hold me when I'm sad then I would be okay. He told me that he doesn't like it either. He wants to be able to hold us and talk to us and touch us too. And then I saw him waiting for Grandpa and I could just feel how excited he was. It was almost like Jesus was saying, "I'm so so sorry for how much this will hurt, but I can't wait to see him. I've been waiting for so long and I can't wait to talk to him and hold him."
It gets me through.
NOTE: I don't believe all this crap about God taking your loved ones because he missed them, or stuff like that. I just believe that God does in fact miss us.
Mel, What you just wrote is as beautiful as what your Mom wrote. It dried up the tears that were streaming down my face. I agree with you about God missing us and wanting us with Him too. In the story of the prodigal son, the father is more excited about the son coming home than the son is about being there. Since we all know how badly Grandpa wants to be with Jesus, it's a very peace giving thought to think about how badly God wants him home. Thank you Mel. I now feel a peace that I've been looking and praying for for the last couple of weeks.
I can't believe how much I miss him already. I got quite used to seeing him and Mom almost everday and now I just wish I could have a moment with him again. Knowing where he is and that he is with his Jesus is very comforting and I can't wait to share that with him.
I am so glad I got to spend some time with him before he went to be with his Lord. I miss him so much.
Beautifully said. What a wondrous man we have all had the pleasure to be around, and how comforting to know that he is with his Lord.
I come back to this very often because I love the picture of Him and Mom. I miss him so much. Somedays my ears almost strain to hear his voice or I make myself remember his voice and how his hands felt because I don't want to forget. I don't know how Mom does it.
IT is almost 6 months to the day when Dad went to be with Jesus. I can't believe it's been that long since I saw his face and heard him sing ONE DAY AT A TIME. The world just seems emptier without him. I miss him so much. This is going to be a very hard few weeks for Mom.
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